I've recently been curious about other people's lives, you can call it kaypoh, but on the other hand, this curiosity is what gives me perspective to another person's life and that's where empathy stems from.
Often, as musicians, we see others perform concerts flawlessly, and we wonder why we are still struggling with basics such as playing in tune for example. As violin teachers, we see others teach and wonder why they can just pick up the violin and sight-read some insane running passage on a wimp. What we do not see are the struggles and frustrations these people have had to go through in their lives as well.
As human beings, we see Facebook- and Insta-perfect lives, but what goes on behind it? I've thought about this a lot, and have always made it an effort to understand the lives of those close to me. Many of my friends tell me their stories and I'm glad they do because it definitely helps me understand them, their choices and feelings much better. These stories also often remind me never to be quick to judge others, because what we see is not by any means complete.
On the flip side, I've also learnt that because we sometimes only see a sliver of someone's lives, what lies behind could also very well be a bed of lies. I've always been open and honest, and easy to read. I've met a couple of pathological liars in my life and with each experience, I've been severely damaged and traumatised. There were many times where I have struggled tremendously and questioned if I should learn to be like these folks and lie without batting an eyelid. At the end of the day, I don't think I can ever be so skilled anyway! =)
My conclusion is that even though I have been hurt through such experiences, I should not have to close myself up to the world because of a few black sheep. Walking out of these encounters made me stronger and more well-equipped to protect myself. Looking on the bright side, I've benefitted more from living my life being true to myself and the people around me as well as being genuinely content with what I have.
Nowadays, I try not to be quick to judge, always keep an open mind and have empathy. At the same time, I have learnt to be be strong enough to acknowledge when someone has overstepped their boundaries of my kindness and weed them out of my priority list, or even my life.
Back to more kaypoh-ness, I'm starting a series on my blog Curious Conversations - Quirky Questions. Super excited to be introducing some old friends, new faces, and to share their deepest, darkest secrets! =)